The first part: Building a 300 square meters ice igloo
I got a very long and profound email from Armenia (former part of Soviet Union), asking if I could share my complete information of the following topic: how to build a 300 square meters ice igloo?
The person who sent this mail, told that there exists a very little amount of free information about building igloos. He assumed that the reason might be either in shortage of internet cafés in Greenland or sticky and icy keys which prevent people´s writing with keyboard. Whatever the reason, I must agree that there isn´t enough information of this subject in internet. After a quick look, I can also express my opinion that the found information is absolutely poor. I assume that the reason is the general stupidity of the igloo builders. In wikipedia, my biggest rival, there is something about building igloos but the whole process is shamefully badly analyzed and the igloo is terribly small there. Therefore I must take the subject to my complete examination.
BUILDING A 300 SQUARE METERS ICE IGLOO
The building of igloo starts from purchasing the ice. On the contrary from some of the information you might have, igloo is not built of snow but from pure 100% ice. If you are a rich igloo builder, you might go and shop the ice. There exists artificial ice which could also be used in igloo building. Building an igloo from this artificial ice is not a natural way and will produce side effects (e.g. smoke and eventually melting).
Otherwise your options are a) stealing the ice OR b) fabrication of the ice by yourself. You also might go to the nearest drink bar and ask if they have a machine for ice cubes. Though I must warn that these cubes will be probably very small and you have to be either very patient or attach them together with glue or very cold air.
If you decide to steal the ice, I recommend stealing it from the government. There hasn´t been reports anywhere in the world of criminalization the stealing of ice when it´s not happening on private land. Anyway, if it would be the case and you would be accused of stealing the ice, the compensation should be quite low since ice is not a stock item. A tip: Don´t steal the ice from the North Pole because nature activists are already very worried about its melting and you might find yourself fighting against Greenpeace boat (they have harpoons).
Fabrication of ice is a more difficult process. First you have to have an access to a large amount of water. Those living by the side of sea, lake or river don't consider this as a problem but others living for example in Armenia, might find it problematic (there is no rivers in Armenia). Other significant problem is the temperature which should be below zero celcius grades. This problem can be solved by buying a powerful freezer. When using a freezer in construction phase, you should remember that it is not very sustainable solution if the constructed building is built to a very hot place. This problem can also be solved with a very big tent-a-like freezer which is used in Kemi, Finland during the summers. This is a very expensive solution and consumes a lot of energy. This is why I recommend building the igloo near big waterfall. That´s how you can solve both, the water and the energy problem (even though there is now rivers in Armenia, there is one mysterious waterfall).
When you have solved the water and the temperature related problems, you can either consult an architect or do the drawings by yourself. I must warn you that there is an outstanding amount of fake architects in igloo building business. Luckily, you can easily recognize them from their outfit. They always use ice bear furs and also have very long and thick moustaches, a bit the same like walruses have. Don´t trust these cheating architects since your igloo might fall down in a month and cause serious injuries (or even hundreds of deaths).
Drawing a layout for your igloo by yourself is not a demanding mission. Igloos are traditionally round and have only one room, so you don´t have to worry about amount of bedrooms or the location of the kitchen. A very few igloos have electricity or running water inside, although you can also include these in your igloo if you find them important. Running water must stream in pipes since it might otherwise melt your igloo. Electricity must be 230V, because 110V can be harmful to ice.
When the layout is ready, next comes the hiring of labour. You shouldn´t try to build the igloo alone because it can be very dangerous and time taking. While hiring the labour, you should think through the following things:
- nationality of labour (people from North Africa are not recommended since they are not usually familiar with ice)
- costs (hiring more people will probably be more expensive than hiring less people, depending also on nationality)
- security (all the insurances don´t cover building of igloos)
- experience (it helps if hired people have worked in construction or ice business before)
- juridical matters (hiring a lawyer early will help if you´ll have troubles with fake architects or with the workers union)
- workers eyesight in the dark (it is easier to build igloo in the night when it´s colder and the sun and the ice don´t combine the eye-killing impact)
When you're ready with all the preparations, next comes the building phase. Measuring the surface area is easy. In 300 square meters igloo the radius is round about 9.77 meters. You have to cut a rope of this measure and put one of the people you have hired to stand in the middle of the imagined igloo, rope in his hand. Then you just walk around him with the other end of the rope (rope has to be tight!)and draw a line which will be the wall of the igloo. Very easy.
After this it´s even easier. Basicly you just put ice on top of the ice below it. Proceed spirally and let the radius get smaller and smaller. Otherwise you will have just ice walls in the end and you have to invent how to make a 300 square meters flat ice roof. I once tried that and 32 people got seriously injured.
Questions that remain a bit unclear and which I will discuss some time in the future:
- using of rental staff in igloo building, can they commit enough?
- how to get rid of the fake architect if you notice later that you have hired one?
- can you freeze vodka and make a 300 square meter igloo out of that (and is it safe to lick it)?
- will these igloos be the building trend when the population of the world has reached 15 billions and people are forced to move to Antarctica?
You can comment this subject to the link below (if you want), although I doubt that you would have anything useful to add to this complete analyze.
The person who sent this mail, told that there exists a very little amount of free information about building igloos. He assumed that the reason might be either in shortage of internet cafés in Greenland or sticky and icy keys which prevent people´s writing with keyboard. Whatever the reason, I must agree that there isn´t enough information of this subject in internet. After a quick look, I can also express my opinion that the found information is absolutely poor. I assume that the reason is the general stupidity of the igloo builders. In wikipedia, my biggest rival, there is something about building igloos but the whole process is shamefully badly analyzed and the igloo is terribly small there. Therefore I must take the subject to my complete examination.
BUILDING A 300 SQUARE METERS ICE IGLOO
The building of igloo starts from purchasing the ice. On the contrary from some of the information you might have, igloo is not built of snow but from pure 100% ice. If you are a rich igloo builder, you might go and shop the ice. There exists artificial ice which could also be used in igloo building. Building an igloo from this artificial ice is not a natural way and will produce side effects (e.g. smoke and eventually melting).
Otherwise your options are a) stealing the ice OR b) fabrication of the ice by yourself. You also might go to the nearest drink bar and ask if they have a machine for ice cubes. Though I must warn that these cubes will be probably very small and you have to be either very patient or attach them together with glue or very cold air.
If you decide to steal the ice, I recommend stealing it from the government. There hasn´t been reports anywhere in the world of criminalization the stealing of ice when it´s not happening on private land. Anyway, if it would be the case and you would be accused of stealing the ice, the compensation should be quite low since ice is not a stock item. A tip: Don´t steal the ice from the North Pole because nature activists are already very worried about its melting and you might find yourself fighting against Greenpeace boat (they have harpoons).
Fabrication of ice is a more difficult process. First you have to have an access to a large amount of water. Those living by the side of sea, lake or river don't consider this as a problem but others living for example in Armenia, might find it problematic (there is no rivers in Armenia). Other significant problem is the temperature which should be below zero celcius grades. This problem can be solved by buying a powerful freezer. When using a freezer in construction phase, you should remember that it is not very sustainable solution if the constructed building is built to a very hot place. This problem can also be solved with a very big tent-a-like freezer which is used in Kemi, Finland during the summers. This is a very expensive solution and consumes a lot of energy. This is why I recommend building the igloo near big waterfall. That´s how you can solve both, the water and the energy problem (even though there is now rivers in Armenia, there is one mysterious waterfall).
When you have solved the water and the temperature related problems, you can either consult an architect or do the drawings by yourself. I must warn you that there is an outstanding amount of fake architects in igloo building business. Luckily, you can easily recognize them from their outfit. They always use ice bear furs and also have very long and thick moustaches, a bit the same like walruses have. Don´t trust these cheating architects since your igloo might fall down in a month and cause serious injuries (or even hundreds of deaths).
Drawing a layout for your igloo by yourself is not a demanding mission. Igloos are traditionally round and have only one room, so you don´t have to worry about amount of bedrooms or the location of the kitchen. A very few igloos have electricity or running water inside, although you can also include these in your igloo if you find them important. Running water must stream in pipes since it might otherwise melt your igloo. Electricity must be 230V, because 110V can be harmful to ice.
When the layout is ready, next comes the hiring of labour. You shouldn´t try to build the igloo alone because it can be very dangerous and time taking. While hiring the labour, you should think through the following things:
- nationality of labour (people from North Africa are not recommended since they are not usually familiar with ice)
- costs (hiring more people will probably be more expensive than hiring less people, depending also on nationality)
- security (all the insurances don´t cover building of igloos)
- experience (it helps if hired people have worked in construction or ice business before)
- juridical matters (hiring a lawyer early will help if you´ll have troubles with fake architects or with the workers union)
- workers eyesight in the dark (it is easier to build igloo in the night when it´s colder and the sun and the ice don´t combine the eye-killing impact)
When you're ready with all the preparations, next comes the building phase. Measuring the surface area is easy. In 300 square meters igloo the radius is round about 9.77 meters. You have to cut a rope of this measure and put one of the people you have hired to stand in the middle of the imagined igloo, rope in his hand. Then you just walk around him with the other end of the rope (rope has to be tight!)and draw a line which will be the wall of the igloo. Very easy.
After this it´s even easier. Basicly you just put ice on top of the ice below it. Proceed spirally and let the radius get smaller and smaller. Otherwise you will have just ice walls in the end and you have to invent how to make a 300 square meters flat ice roof. I once tried that and 32 people got seriously injured.
Questions that remain a bit unclear and which I will discuss some time in the future:
- using of rental staff in igloo building, can they commit enough?
- how to get rid of the fake architect if you notice later that you have hired one?
- can you freeze vodka and make a 300 square meter igloo out of that (and is it safe to lick it)?
- will these igloos be the building trend when the population of the world has reached 15 billions and people are forced to move to Antarctica?
You can comment this subject to the link below (if you want), although I doubt that you would have anything useful to add to this complete analyze.
posted by Toppen! at 11:43 PM
6 Comments:
Thank you for realizing the change in the world that this blog has started.
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I will start building an igloo right away, thanks to you.
You must have too much spare time...:)
I recommend you to wait until December if you live in Lieto. Unless you have powerful and big tent-freezers. Of course the project can be started right away but wait with the building phase.
I must say that I don´t have a lot of spare time because writing of this is like a full-time job.
this is fucking bullshit!
I´m afraid that you´re wrong.
This has nothing to do with bullshit but with hard-boiled facts.
I'm never wrong
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